Camp Host Terminology

[Scotty Hutto]

Not so well known Camp Host Terminology…

Like many professions, camp hosts have their own terminology which does tend to vary from region to region. Some of them are obvious, others not so much. Here are a few examples: (and of course, we know Monacoers would never do any of this…)

Canvas Kings: Last of a dying breed of hard core campers. Easily identified by an old canvas tent (generally Coleman) with a green or red (white gas) lantern sitting on a rock or picnic table and an old axe lightly buried in a log round to keep the edge sharp. A blue or red coffee pot warming near a perfect size campfire. These folks are highly respected, knowledgeable, and enjoy the outdoors for what it is. They do not care about surge protectors, water heaters or toilet paper debates.

Rolling Hotel Crew (RHC’s): The opposite of the Canvas King. These folks are so addicted to all the comforts of home that when they head out into the great outdoors, they pretty much just bring the entire home with them, sometimes including the attached garage. To qualify as an RHC, your rig must be 45ft minimum length and weigh at least 30,000 pounds dry.

Landing Strip Camp (LSC’s) For these folks it’s Christmas year around. Easily identified at night. They will generally have a mile or two of rope lights weaved in, out, and under their rigs. Every tree branch within reach will be adorned with some type of flashing, blinking color changing illumination. The brighter, the better and they absolutely must leave those lights on all night long just in case the camp  raccoons want to disco dance at 3am. 

The Uninvited DJ: These campers are always equipped with a sound system large enough for a football stadium. It is their primary goal to ensure that every camper within a half mile radius can enjoy the music of their choice. More often than not, the UDJ will also qualify in the LSC category as it’s absolutely unheard of to put on an unwanted concert without appropriate lighting. 

E-Bike Hoodlum (EBH) Now just because you ride an E-Bike, doesn’t mean you qualify. This term is reserved for those who truly believe that the camp posted speed limit does not apply to 40 MPH bicycles. They are easily identified and can generally be found piled up on the side of the road usually after the speed bumps near a playground. 

Junior Bike Hoodlum: Basically the same as the above; however, you must be 15 years of age or younger for this category and any form of bike applies.  Club rules generally mandate that you have a plastic bright orange or fluorescent green Mohawk glued to your helmet. 

Dog Doody Dufus (Triple D): These folks can easily be spotted standing on a strip of grass with a fuzzy buddy dangling from a leash and their head spinning in all direction. Eyes scanning the horizon to ensure that nobody is watching them as they have absolutely no intention of cleaning up after their dog. The dog generally doesn’t look around, they have one job to do and they don’t care who sees them or not.

Torcher: These are the folks who skipped basic campfire class and resort to lighting full sized logs with a propane tank and brush torch for twenty full minutes. Easily identified as the specific campsite sounds like a rocket launch pad on a daily basis. 

Loggers: These are the folks (usually also torchers) who burn up all the fire wood they brought on day one and now resort to hacking away at protected oak tree branches with dull Walmart hatchets. This group is a particular favorite of the Park Rangers. 

There are more, but that’s enough for one day. 

A good day to all.

(Shamelessly stolen from a friend)